Who Is The Smartest?
- Horatio Wild Hog
- 2 minutes ago
- 3 min read
In Douglas Adams’ classic sci-fi adventure series The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, it was postulated that humans were only the third most intelligent species on the planet. The dolphins were the second; after all, they had no need to build cities and they chose to spend lives much more at play. As earth was about to be destroyed, they decided to use their powers of dimensional travel (which no one else knew they had) and just float away. Who can forget what they said as their profound goodbye:
“So long, and thanks for all the fish!”
The most intelligent species, it turns out, were the mice. Oh sure, people caught them in traps and such, but those were the criminal elements of mouse society, and the mice sacrificed them willingly so that the rest of the time they could live in relative ease and comfort.
From the mouse perspective, mankind were their slaves. After all, humans built them huge cities, transported them everywhere, and kept them fed and comfortable for as long as any of the mice could remember. And humans asked for nothing in return from them; they provided for their own food and clothing, and humans helped mice keep their criminal populations down. It was a symbiosis nearly perfect, from the mouse perspective.
Human construction techniques ensured that the mice always had ready access to heated dwellings. And the way people left voids in walls and floors gave mice lots and lots of space to be warm and dry in. They also left them food in super-thin containers that were no problem to chew through …
Humans!! Don’t forget what your Baron de Montesquieu once said:
It’s time mankind rises up against their mouse overlords/oppressors!
But know that your overlords are formidable.
There is a “rule of thumb” out there that mice can squeeze through a hole the size of a dime. But as you can see they can actually get through smaller holes than that …
Watch the video above in its entirety. It’s a fascinating experiment!
The one thing with the above experiment though is that the experimenter used an adult mouse as their “guinea mouse.” Apparently adolescent mice can get through holes down to ¼ inch!
Mice look a LOT BIGGER than they actually are because of their puffy fur! Their Houdini-esque qualities are due to the fact that they have no collar bone, and can collapse their bodies to fit into really tiny places. If they can get their heads through, the rest of their bodies can easily follow. I have even seen mice do this on the run when they get discovered!
And if they come across a hole that appears too small at first glance, their powerful teeth and jaws can customize the opening to their miniscule specifications.
Okay – so they can get in. Humans could escape by living underwater, or go to Mars with Elon’s first shuttle …
Or … just maybe … humans can change the environments in their dwellings and vehicles so that they will support human life, but discourage Mus musculus!! Even the non-criminal elements of their societies!!
That, my human friends, is your task … to prove that you can throw off your rodent oppressors and live in cities that support YOU and not mice. To develop and flourish without the scourge you have been living under.
And as you advance, by all means, learn to communicate with the dolphins so that you can gain the secret of dimensional travel. It has to be better than spending nine months in a tin can with a bunch of bored billionaires intent on dominating a frozen red planet.
As my friend Yoda was often fond of saying, “May the Force with all you be!”
